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I've been feeling a change coming for a while. It's mostly been the desire to draw a line under the last two years and say enough is enough. I want my fucking life back and I'm sure we're all feeling the same way. So I'm taking it and if I have to buy into a spiritual landmark of a date to vow change then I damn well will.
The change isn't even that dramatic - though I did go super blonde again which is definitely part of it. I've decided to stop selling myself short. I'm not really that bad of a person and although the super bitch inside my head likes to tell me I've wasted a lifetime, learnt nothing, achieved nothing and can offer nothing, I know she's just bitter and twisted - and born of an abusive period in my life.
She's a dick, basically. Here and now I vow to take away her power and believe in my own. I must be onto something in life because I have the most wonderful people around me and they have good taste, right? And that's another thing, I've always relied on the validation of other people and although that's natural, I have to be able to give myself the thumbs up too.
So here they are, the things I wish to change. I'll even sign this off and look back on it in a few months' time. From today I will:
- Stop with the self-deprecation and accept that I am good at things and am a bountiful healthy woman
- I will try not to get angry at other people - their ignorance or rudeness says things about them and not me
- I will set time aside to work on my self-development (and complete my copywriting qualification)
- I will not fill the void with stuff - and work on the clutter around me
- I will see friends and family - nothing else matters
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